Gifts of Life Challenges
by Rebekkah Alexander
Many of us view challenges as problems, as obstacles to living happily. We tend to view them as events that shouldn’t be happening. However, upon willing and open observation, I have discovered a gift tucked inside each and every “obstacle” I encounter. I believe you may also. Making a choice to acknowledge this “golden nugget” before seeing it offers a new potential. It may contribute to shifting one’s perception, preparing to discover the value of the challenge. Doing so can reshape resistant negative expectation into positive anticipation.
Acceptance
Accepting the challenge does not mean that we want it to occur.
Accepting the challenge could mean two things. One is, I accept that the occurrence is reality and that I cannot change the fact of its existence. The second is that, even though I distress myself with the challenge, I acknowledge the potential benefit of my engagement with it. Initially reacting to problems with resistance, discouragement, or anger is a natural part of our survival reaction. Doing so is learned behavior from family and cultural settings as well as from many generations before us. I see these emotions as subconscious reactions and nature’s way of getting our attention. However, rather than being an endpoint, they can actually be a spring-point. They can be seen as an invitation to turn our focus from routine reactive patterns toward exploring ourselves and making a new choice. They can be seen as opportunities to feel better and to understand ourselves and others more clearly.
Often, we humans naturally resist disruption to how we think things should be.
Resisting initially seems to be so natural. Yet, I believe resisting creates more discomfort in the body and in the emotions. Relief is more available when one surrenders to the reality of the inconvenient “disturbance”. When we explore the true emotions underlying our perception of the disturbance, we can better accept this disruption to our intentions or plans.
Accepting the challenge can inspire learning and self-discovery.
Accepting the challenge rather than denying it or rejecting it can foster inspired learning and self-discovery. Through acceptance we raise awareness for fuller living and loving. In the counseling or coaching session, I might invite the client to embrace the challenge . . .opening new doors of possibilities they may have never imagined before. Realizing the opportunity for moving forward in life with fresh perspectives is now a possibility.
Growth
A challenge, by its very nature, demands of us. Occasionally it requests, but more often a challenge calls forth increasing abilities for commitment, skill, awareness, sensitivity, attention, self-responsibility, self-acceptance, motivation or patience.
This is the substance of growth . . . cultivating the potential for gifts. These are the gifts that “keep on giving” to oneself and to those with whom we come into contact. This may include our loved ones, friends, and the checkout person at the grocery store. These are the gifts that move humanity forward.
Living Process
With an open mind, open heart, and inquisitiveness, consider the natural experiences of emotions as offers to greater self-understanding. That sadness, hurt, anger, worry, fear, self-doubt, or shame are invitations to turn attention inward for exploring yourself. By following nature’s call to attend to our emotional discomforts more deeply, we enter a living process. A process that transforms our experiences into greater self-compassion, gratitude, self-awareness, and capacity to love and trust.
I believe by having an idea that we are growing in some way — even if we don’t know in what way exactly — that we beckon a new level of appreciation and acceptance for ourselves, for others, and for our adversities. By fully experiencing our current challenges, exploring the meaning and beliefs we hold about them, we make possible the discovery of potential growth and new meaning.
Contact me to explore your current challenge, bringing to light the meaning and beliefs you hold about it, and potentially discover the growth and new meaning that is possible.